Hey world, here we are again but with a hot and brand new talk.We’re in February,right? And pretty aware that this month is popular for 2 reasons: First reason, it’s the shortest month of all then second;it’s the month dedicated to lovebirds. We thought this topic would be the most triggering one but we will be breaking the complexity out of it by explaining the link between singleness and relationship.
Wait ! Your mind is seriously at work trying to understand how singleness could be related to any kind of relationship and a lot of questions coming up. Humm, let’s see some points that will mark the talk.
My friend and I were just having a conversation about singleness and she just explained to me how singleness was truly an important period whereby we learn more about what our hearts strives for in another person and build a clear goal for our next relationship and what we should expect. It is that time we get to know who we really are and get to polish our values accordingly to how we would love to be treated.(self respect ,self love and our mental health are being on focus. )
Rushing things wouldn’t solve anything at all, there’s a quote that says “If you think a relationship is going to fix all your problems ( loneliness) , your relationship will become your problem.”
I mean let's be honest, most of us love being in a relationship but without a straight goal. we needed more time for ourselves before the person. We need to prioritize God first.He is the one leading you to that person you deserve. We need to prioritize our mental health, we tend to forget how much it plays a big part in our relationships.We’re running into relationships without really knowing what is needed to have a healthy one and that will bring a hundred percent confusion.
we are e busy getting up involved with people that are not good for us and vice versa. Of course we’re not perfect but after all the breakups it shouldn’t always be the fault of the other person.
We’re getting into the rush because we all have that fear to be alone , you can have a strong mind and also have some vulnerability .
But the hard truth is: a relationship that is not adding nothing to you, is taking something from you. This is when we find ourselves doing things that we don’t even want just to keep the relationship because we love the attention we are getting or the feeling to be seen… and this part I want to be more specific with my sisters. *Sis you don't need to send a nude picture to your boyfriend to know your worth, learn by yourself how much you’re worth and quite giving people discounts.*
OK! Let me say it straight, listen y’all singleness is not a punishment😂, I repeat again singleness is not a punishment.
Nowadays to be single looks like you’re missing out something, everybody wants those cute pictures on instagram with the hashtag relationship goals 👩❤️👨 and it’s normal to wish for that ,but it should not make us neglecting this stage of being single which is a very important stage where we should maximize our time into discovering our purpose, passion, gifts , some imperfections that we need God to help us to control, the child trauma we might need healing , also some of us need to seek help so that we can deal with the daddy issues. I’m mentioning that because all those things they are going to have an impact on our relationships whether we like it or not but we can still choose how they can have impact on our relationships and it can be in a beautiful way if we take time to embrace our singleness and let go all those things we need to release & let God do the rest 😉.
Before we end our talk, let’s see some amazing points that people have discovered when they have started maximizing their singleness.
-1)Foundation: To have a Foundation is fundamental in a relationship , you need something stronger than your feelings or emotions that can help you and your pattern to stay bonded and not to grow apart as time goes on. For me God needs to be the foundation because he knows how to keep shaping me so that I can have a healthy relationship.
-2) Connection : You have to feel that *connection* between you and your loved one, something you can’t explain happens when you’re with that person , you can see even how much both of your purposes are connected .
3) Standards : We need to have our own *standards* before we start a relationship. We need to spend more time with God so that He can give us those standards that can help to recognize that person we’re equally yoked. Those standards are values of different things he might give us to value for our good because God knows what is coming after 10years or 30years. He knows what we need not what we want. And I’m saying God’s standards because you can’t follow the world’s standards , they're always changing sadly 😪 as we had to close out this, i hope some few things will be viewed on two handed sides now. The way we would see singleness as a threat or whatever that could scare use the fact of “NOT” being with someone that it should be instead a period of transformation,making moves and embracing the beautiful “YOU” before you allow the other person in. Stay true to yourself baby and keep your eyes straight on God,He’ll be leading!
With great great Love
IGICANIRO
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