The right one

 

Here I am inviting you into my business again . 

Today I’m going to be sharing what I learned from my experience in finding "the right one/the right person " and also share what even pushed me to do that and how it was messy at the beginning but thankfully the adventure had a beautiful ending. 

 I apologise in advance because I am going to mix up the languages. The reason is that I am going to be vulnerable with you; I'm not going to pay too much attention to the writing. I’m going to just follow the flow and be real with you .

The goal here is learning from my story an encouragement to start the healing process, to break the generation curse of unhealthy relationships and to not settle for less because of your insecurities. 

                        

                                  ………

Don't get me wrong I know most of you also want to find “the right one” so ngiye gupartaga kungen jew i found "the right one" namye ndondera iyi myaka yose ...I mean the last three years.

It all started when I first had this desire to be in a relationship just because most of my close friends were in relationships but not me so it created a kind of pressure in me which led me to start making decisions that caused me to experience a lot of disappointment, because the motivation and the intention were wrong and I didn't even know what I was looking for.

After trying everything on my own to be in a relationship because of my insecurity of comparing myself to others, I realised that putting myself in that situation was not really wise , I had to do better because they were taking something from me, I was like "Hey stop!"  , GEZAHO! maybe it is time to try something else and stop that mess and ask for help from someone who can give me some guidance and prevail over those hurts and disappointments” ... 

And my first step in asking for help was to turn to God so I humbled myself in a very real authentic prayer. 

I asked ifashe to see what i was missing so i can finally find “that special one or the right one “ I was looking for, which I thought God was going to do btw , but things turned into something else😏….

God answered my prayer muri video naravye on YouTube called Single and Not Alone by Pastor Michael Tood  and in that video the revelation was about how I should put aside a whole year being single like choosing to be intentionally single for a whole year😱! Of course I thought to myself that must be the devil trying to confuse me😂🙄. After watching the video I was like "whaaattt? but dear Heavenly Father this was not the answer I expected from you or maybe I need to pray about it again"😅😅😅😅😅 

I watched it again and again and the revelation was still the same, so I started to have this conversation with myself like “maybe you should trust Him and obey what God’s telling you to do because all His plans are good for us. He promised us that!” And after hesitating for a while I finally made the decision to embrace my singleness and focus on myself for a whole year. 

It was definitely the best decision I made! I felt that God was also teaching me to find the gold in every season. I mean there is nothing to be ashamed of being single, it's just a season for some that sets us up for another season, which is marriage and for the others who are not meant to . 

That year helped me learn a lot!!!! For example, my value/worth isn’t in my accomplishments or status. There’s no need to be in a toxic relationship because I wanted so badly to feel worthy, seen, loved and safe.  

I learned that having these desires was normal but sometimes I had to recognize that I was looking for these things in the wrong places.

This is how I found the right one ☝️ I discovered that in this year of intentional singleness , the person I was looking for was "me" . I know some of you are mad now 😂  I can imagine your reaction " girl you didn't just brought us all this way to just talk to us about some self love stuff"😂😂

But let me explain this. I had to first learn to love myself before I could love another person by being okay with all my imperfections, insecurities and loving me anyway. I had to learn to choose each day to be patient with myself so that I could be patient with others .....etc

These are important lessons that I learned, In order to find the right person or life partner, I must first find myself and know who I am by answering this questions: 

What is my vision on relationships?  What purpose has God designed for me?  , what should I leave and what should I receive?  Who should I forgive? Who should I ask for forgiveness?  Who do I need to say goodbye to? What traumas do I need to recognize so that I know what I am bringing to the table?  What is my view of finances in marriage? What legacy do I want to leave for the next generation?… Etc and the beauty of this is that all of these questions will not only help me heal and become the healthy version of myself, but also will help to recognize that person I can say yes to live with for the rest of my life.

  Ps: “Healthy relationships are made up of Healthy individuals. “